Is Self-Care Selfish? Redefining Balance for Women Over 50

A Heartfelt Chat with a Fellow Grandma

A few days ago, I shared a heartfelt chat with a client in her cozy kitchen. Both proud grandmas and business owners—she with a family business, me with Renee Marie’s Cuisine—we’ve spent years bonding over our love for food and, most recently, wearing the “grandma hat.” We cherish living a wholesome life, nurturing mind, body, and spirit, and honoring traditions passed down from our mothers, grandmothers, and sisters. Their lessons shape our paths, from family recipes to life wisdom. But when our talk turned to self-care, I was surprised: we saw it differently.

My View: Self-Care as Nurturing For Women Over 50

To me, self-care is about nurturing myself—mind, body, and spirit—to be the best mom, partner, sister, daughter, and grandma I can be. It might mean prioritizing myself occasionally, like a quiet meditation to center my soul or a journaling session to process emotions. Sometimes, it’s a photography trip to capture Alaska’s big brown bears or a weekend at Sax-Zim Bog chasing great grey owls—moments that refuel my spirit. These acts aren’t selfish; they recharge me to show up fully for those I love, addressing pain points like low energy or emotional baggage.

Her View: Self-Care as Self-Centered For Women Over 50

My client sees self-care differently. To her, it feels self-centered, a departure from the biblical call to put others first, rooted in traditions from our mothers’ era. She referenced Philippians 2:3-4, which urges us to “value others above yourselves.” For her, women should always prioritize others—family, community, faith—over personal needs. It’s a perspective I respect, but I worry it risks burnout, especially for women over 50 redefining their season.

What Does the Bible Say About Self-Care?

Curious, I reflected and researched. The biblical call to put others first doesn’t preclude self-care. Mark 12:31 says, “love your neighbor as yourself,” implying self-love is foundational to loving others. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 calls your body a temple, urging stewardship of mind, body, and spirit. Self-care—like meditation, journaling, or a nature walk—equips women to serve with strength and purpose, not selfishness. For women over 50, this balance honors God, enabling us to shine as moms, grandmas, and sisters.

A Lesson from Motherhood

Years ago, when my twin sons were born, I organized a local moms’ group for twins to share tips and challenges. I invited a psychologist to speak, asking her to address our struggle to balance life. She said, “Putting yourself first is the hardest thing you’ll do as a woman. Society doesn’t support it, and we’re not wired for it.” But she urged small steps—like a bubble bath with the door locked—to find balance. My kids and husband survived those moments, and I emerged better, refreshed to serve those who matter most. That lesson stuck with me.

Sticky Notes and Small Steps

Another suggestion from the talk was to put a sticky note up where you will see, with SAY YES TO ME written on it.  This is a subtle reminder to take one step at a time in changing your mindset.  I have used this approach for many things for the last three decades.  Try it! 

Self-Care vs. Self-Centered: Where Do You Stand?

So, is self-care selfish? I say no. Practices like those in our Bloom Where You’re Planted community—nature-inspired meditations, Frida Kahlo-inspired journaling, or wellness guides—fuel us to show up fully without neglecting responsibilities. My client’s view, while rooted in tradition, risks burnout for midlife women. I’ve never felt self-centered taking a bubble bath, reading quietly, or chasing owls with my camera. Self-care is a gift to ourselves and those we love.

Where do you stand? Reflect on self-care versus self-centeredness in your beliefs. If you’re seeking balance, our community is a great place to start. The Bloom Community will focus on women and our shared challenges and opportunities that help women like you uncover your path—whether purpose, wellness, or connection-through our commitment to women over 50.

Join Our Bloom Community 

Join our free 90-day trial by September 30, 2025, to explore self-care that empowers you to shine. As a Foundational Member in our First Circle, shape our content, from November’s Family Bloom workshops to our 2026 April retreat or January 27 Kibera service week. RSVP for our October 15 virtual kickoff at reneembloom.com/events to learn more. Visit our Facebook page or Pinterest board for inspiration. #BloomTrial2026 #WomenOver50