It's Expected
Mom's recipe box with her handwritten scalloped corn recipe, a holiday tradition our family still carries forward
Dear friend,
I can’t imagine the holiday season without family, food, and the traditions that hold us together.
November is a tough month as I balance family I've lost: my sister, mom, grandmother, and the list goes on. And there is the family I've gained: two daughters-in-law, and we share 14 grandchildren. That list goes on. A continuous thread woven into our tapestry.
The holiday traditions I had growing up are precious memories that bring so many emotions. When we are in it, we never think about what it will be like when family is gone. Or how we'll move traditions forward without them.
So as sad as the memories can be, they are also exciting. They are full of inspiration and creativity for building new traditions that will carry the thread forward from the old into the new. Something like the ribbons on the Christmas tree. You can’t ever tell where they started and where they finished. You just know they are there.
As my son said, “It’s expected.”
For me, so much of family legacy lives in holiday meals and the recipes we remember.
When I established my own home after I got married, I had to admit some hard truths. For instance, on Thanksgiving, my mom would cook a 30-pound turkey that has yet to be matched by anyone close in flavor. Her stuffing was out of this world. I have tried with no success.
So I tuck that memory away and hold on to it. But I don’t even attempt turkey.
Of course, we keep other parts of the meal. Banana cream pie, scalloped corn, etc., and we roll with it. For those of us still around who remember the days of Mom’s turkey, there will be a small conversation with a lot of heart, smiles, and maybe a tear.
Another Christmas tradition I let go of: oyster stew for Christmas. I have been serving prime rib for decades. Again, it’s expected.
I remember challenging my mom on why she went through the pains of oyster stew when it didn’t appear like anyone really ate it. Of course, that was my limited opinion, but hey. I remember clearly when she said, “It’s expected.”
As I think about that simple statement, it brings joy for many reasons.
I have created for my family what my mother had created for her family, just as my grandmother did, and on and on.
Traditions matter. The family traditions we carry forward, the ones we remember, and the ones we create are all the ones that fit into the “it’s expected” place of honor.
Renee.
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